Moving on and moving forward

What have the big C taught our family? The 35-day ordeal of Bar in fighting against Leukemia was such a bliss. Accepting his illness was not even sinking in 2 weeks after it was formally confirmed by the result of his bone marrow test. It was so fast. With the kind of family that we have, it must be such a hard lesson that we all must take.

The fight against the big C for a 10-year old boy was definitely a hard battle. We were caught unprepared, and probably have hit us in a very bad timing. But then again, we have learned so much from this. We have learned to be united again. That even though, Bar is an extended family for the most of us, and everyone has  its own immediate family, still we needed to do our part at those times. The history of our family being so closely tied and at the same time being detached from one another are much deeper than Filipino culture. We have uniquely evolved from just simply an extended family who used to live in an “ancestral” home – simply we are uniquely different (in both negative and positive ways).

Bar’s conquest may have been fast. We are still mourning. The demise of a 10-year old boy is indeed painful. We are mourning. It is our right to mourn and to grieve. But we are moving on too. In God’s time, wounds will be healed. And I know we are moving forward, not because we will forget  Bar, but we will start facing the days of our lives with all the hard and well-learned lessons he gave us.

AML just like FM

Case: AML – Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

It is a type of Leukemia  of the myeloid line of the blood cells as characterized by abnormal growth of WBC – white blood cells that accumulate in the bone marrow which hinders the production of healthy normal blood cells.

For the past days I have tried to read articles, blogs and read from my nursing books all the things about Leukemia and specifically about this AML. This type of cancer is popularly known from last year as this is the exact type of Leukemia that inflicted the Philippine’s Master Rapper – Francis M.

There was never a thorough discussion of Hematologic disorders back when I was in nursing school and so I needed all the readings that I can do to be well equipped with the real deal of this case.

It has been more than a month since I posted my last entry here. So many things have happened within just one month. There goes my 25th birthday, few other birthdays of friends and relatives – happy events. Reason to celebrate of another year of gift of life. Within the span of one month there are also things that we need to learn to accept. My cousin, a 10 year old boy named Baraquiel (named after angel barachiel) has just been diagnosed with the very same type of Leukemia AML.

References I have read and websites have said that AML is most common among adults and is much tougher to beat as compare to the other type which is the ALL – acute lymphloblastic leukemia. I have read Francis M’s happy battle and also Mr. Brokenman a filipino wordpress blogger and they have shared battles in fighting this AML. As we all know one of them have lost the battle though as he said it was a happy battle. I just can’t imagine those painful experience they have gone through will be the same agony my cousin Baraquiel will experience too.

My cousin lost her mother last April 2006 – he was only 6 at that time. His dad, my father’s brother is a tricycle driver and have not actually finished high school and so my Tita Leah the only sister of my father is the one who have cared and treated Bar as her own child since my tita doesn’t have any children at all.

Whew. That was heavy to unload. And there will be more entries that I will post about Bar’s battle to inspire others, for leukemia awareness and possibly for fund raising (I am working on a project about a blog for this).

Bar: Kuya Mark, bakit ako hihinto ng pag-aaral? Gusto ko makatapos, gusto ko maging chef! Pano yung grade 3 lang ako, ayoko naman nun.

My heart almost crushed right after he asked this direct statement because I know I just couldn’t give a direct answer to it.

Bar had his very first round of Chemo – Cytarabine 6mg/day. Will post soon Bar’s battle towards AML just like FM but this time it’s a 10 yo who has just started his own fight against AML.